#its late and i cant think of any other comparisons.
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My taste in fictional guys-
Murderers. Mostly masked ones. RZ Michael Myers, Bo Sinclair, Danny Johnson Ghostface, Thomas Hewitt Leatherface, and SCP-049. John Wick and Postal Dude sometimes when I'm in a certain mood for it.
Point is, all those men are murderers.
And Postal Dude is the biggest odd one out. He's the weirdo here.
I have a type, and it's men who would probably kill me. The probably being- Dude is a wild card and Wick wouldn't unless there's like. A bounty or some shit on me IDK I haven't seen the movies in a while.
Also. I suppose Eddie Gluskin is F/O adjacent for me. Maybe. Not really. I ship him with Waylon far too much to consider myself as a. Potential bride. He's hot, he's mentally ill and he's on my mind all the time but I don't see us as romantic at most he's like a tiger in a cage and I am taunting him with raw meat for a bit before giving him two things of raw meat.
Visuals for the fellas since I gave em for the ladies I guess.
(Such a funny image of Johnathan Wickathan honestly.)
My taste in fictional gals-
There's a lot of similarities between some of them. But not a consistent similarity between all of them as far as I know.
Anyway judge me for my taste in romantic partners that don't exist. Rate my F/Os. Please.
It's past 4 AM and I have been on this post saying shit and things for 30 minutes.
#mango man speaks#feferi and elma are both fish who use tridents.#feferi and rosalina are both princesses. feferi and rarity are both none human.#its late and i cant think of any other comparisons.#i got feferi on the brain at all times apparently cuz the comparisons are all her.#oh! rarity and elma both have that. middle horn thing going.#grasping at straws here these are all surface level comparisons their personalities and roles they play in their stories are all#too different.#i like my men tall and murdery and i like my women. uh. nice? nope not even then. natsuki is not nice.#also. yes. natsuki is here. why is she here? because im kissing her. idc if she is is with yuri. she has two hands dude.#f/o community#self ship#f/o ramblings#pro ship self ship#not relevant that i am proship but. yknow. audience reaching.#self shipper
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HEY HI HELLO
Sorry for the random message here In the asks, it's ok if you don't see this or answer it since you probably got a lot already and I understand if you don't see this!/gen
But first of all, I just wanna say
I CANT BELIEVE I HAVENT WATCHED YOUR ANALYSIS VIDEO SOONER IM SO FUCKING LATE MAN
It's so well done and so fucking funny, I was literally smiling and cackling through the whole thing, it's shocking how similar our humor is
NOT TO MENTION THE END SCENE AREE YOU KIDDING HOW DID YOU MATCH THE LYRICS SO PERFECTLY TO THE FUCKING LORE ITS INCREDIBLE 😭💜/GEN, POS
It's insane how much dedication is put into it, let alone singlehandedly feeding turbo fans as myself
Genuinely thought it's so nice seeing more content for a hyperfixation I've had since 2012, and the fandom coming back along with this video Genuinely brings me so much joy as someone who's loved this movie since I was a kid
Sorry for the ramble but genuinely thank you for making that video, I can't wait to see what other stuff you do, wreck it ralph or not I WILL be tuning in/gen, pos
Okay second of all
The main reason why I'm sending this is because of sometning I noticed while rewatching a scene in the movie
Now, this might be me over analyzing as I usually do but it feels TOO. OBVIOUS.
SO
IN the kart bakery scene where vanellope and ralph go to bake a kart, they obviously make their way into the building and into the main room
You see all the Karts of course, and It pans to the one vanellope chooses
Which, at first glance you wouldn't really pay too much attention, especially when watching it for the first time, she's just picking the model she likes
..but looking back at the scene
Vanellope's kart model, how it was supposed to look, looks very
Familiar
Because the kart she chose..
...is a red and white kart
With stripes down the middle, with a very similar shape to a..certain persons kart. Now this might just be nothing, it's probably just like I said, and over analysis on my part
But the kart the chose looks WAY too similar to turbo's, not to mention the stripe is down the middle, just like turbo's car on the cabinet art of him
And vanellope could've chosen ANY kart
But it was that specific kart she chose, out of any of the karts
Not to mention in some of vanellope's concept art...
(Art made by Lorelay Bove)
..Vanellope's concept design and turbos designs strike SCARILY uncanny resemblances to each others designs
From the helmet and colors
All the way down to her GOGGLES having the SAME. YELLOW. TINT. that candy's have in the movie, which have the same effect here. There's no way that this didn't have the intent to mirror turbo purposefully
So with that in mind, the kart vanellope chose in the kart bakery scene being turbo foreshadowing, wouldn't be too out of place, nor would it be too far off
Turbo's foreshadowing was always prominent, even in the smallest details you wouldn't focus on, just like he's infecting this world as a virus, little by little, everywhere. You. Turn.
Aaaand that's basically all I have to really say
Sorry for the long ramble, I've been thinking of submitting this for awhile now, especially after I told a friend about this and they mentioned that this should be submitted to you
So I decided to go ahead and just do it, no matter how wild my comparisons might sound-
Anyways, I hope you have a good day, night, or what time it may be, and keep being awesome! I can't wait to hear back if you see this! Bye-bye! ❤️🏎🏆
P.s
I've been quoting these since I watched the video and haven't stopped
Thanks for destroying my humor even more-/pos
Okay bye bye now-
-skitters away-
NO YOU'RE SO FUCKING RIGHT OH MY GOD VANELLOPE WAS ALWAYS A TURBO PARALLEL??? CHAT IS THIS TRUE. IVE NEVER SEEN THAT CONCEPT ART OF HER TEEHEE THANKS FOR SHARING
also God. This is 99% just a coincidence with zero merit because its such a common gesture- but Ralph and Vanellope doing their thumbs up.. maybe Turbo parallels ?? and like the EXACT same poses too:
Vanellope having one hand on the steering wheel and the other doing a thumbs up while facing the camera.
Ralph hunched over doing the double thumbs up with the visor tinting his face yellow. EXCUSE ME HMMM?? WHAT THE FUCK??
NOW COULD I BE CHERRY PICKING? PERHAPS. but when Turbo has barely a minute of screentime, there's not a lot i can pick from, and things SURE ARE LINING UP... (I'm cherry picking)
SO SHHHHHH... ❤️❤️❤️❤️ LET ME HAVE MY LITTLE CONSPIRASCY
#🎬#OK IM ACTUALLY GOING CRAZY NOW#ANALYSIS#OH MY GODF.#long post#turbo#wreck it ralph#vanellope#ralph#im. i cant ianymore#paralells#HES EVERYWHERE#OUHGHHHH HE'S SUCH A FUCKING CRYPTID#ask#also thank you for the ask teehee im glad you enjoyed :)#wir video
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Theres this post i saw a few days ago that was like "i think its very telling that Rhysand talks about illyria and the night court as though theyre seperate" and Ive been thinking about it a lot. At first I was just gonna say that that doesnt seem weird to me at all because ive been watching a lot of media that takes place in austria-hungary lately, and my understanding is basically that colloquially people would usually refer to austria and hungary as seperate entitites regardless of what was going on with the state borders or government or whatever
So I was just gonna say "the night court is like the austria empire so thats. fine" and leave it that. I mean, thats pretty bad but thats just how it is in canon. But then I thought a bit more about the austrian empire and made more comparisons, I dont really feel like explaining it further than that, and I was like "yknow, illyria is referred to as 'a country within the night court' but I dont think theres any kind of border seperating it from the rest of the night court" so I looked it up and yeah
So theres no hard border like the ones that seperate the courts and theres not even really a 'natural border' in the form of a long river or maybe a mountain range. And yet, we never really see any non-batboy illyrians outside of illyria other than Emerie whos still Nesta's friend and thus atleast somewhat adjacent to the ic. So I was like "hey. are you not allowed to leave illyria? like, if you were born there i mean" and then I thought, yeah no, because all the males have to go to war camp when theyre 9 and then join the army if they dont die or become disabled, so they presumably cant just leave, and they never say anything about helping all the females in abusive situations leave their homes much less their country, so Im guessing they cant leave either
And I mean, that tracks like thats not a surprise to me at all, but its still pretty fucked up. The Batboys said "ladiessssss, we know youre being abused by the men in your life and youre living in a place that 100% enables and amplifies that abuse, but dont try to leave!! just learn how to fight them!!"
#theyre so bad at this it honestly just loops back around into being funny again#like they could not be doing a worse job helping women if they were actively beating them up in the streets#anti acotar#anti inner circle
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Reviving A Wreck Ch. 4 Sneak Peek
Its late and I cant sleep so I'm trying write. Figure it'd be fun to share a sneak peek of the next chapter of Reviving a Wreck which has quickly become my frankensteins monster of a fic given it started off as a oneshot called Sleep Talk and evolved into this whole THING.
This next chapter will feature Slashmark and Heatseeker. Enjoy this littler excerpt.
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“He needs us to form Menasor.” Heatseeker tried to point out in what his vague mind probably considered a reasonable tone. Though his spark clearly wasn’t really in it.
“Which he HATES!” Slashmark snapped, “He never wants to form up if he can help it!”
Menasor was powerful. Really really powerful. All that power felt good. At least at first. After awhile though Slashmark wanted out. The others wanted out too. Even Motormaster.
That was the thing with being a combiner. The power surge felt amazing, but keeping together meant having your various minds intermingle and focus in the same direction. The longer they stayed combined the harder it was to control.
How had all the big combiners in the war manged it?! How had Motormaster managed it when his temper was so bad? The original stunticons had formed up Menasor countless times and managed to do things Slashmark couldn’t imagine their ragtag street gang pulling off. Something had changed for Menasor between the The Great War and now that had made him weaker.
Unfortunately the most logical answer to that was, well, them.
Outside of the boss and Dragstrip none of the rest of the team had any experience being part of a bigger combiner team. He and Heatseeker had always managed alright together, especially when he managed to direct his partners aggression in the right direction. However once they were Menasors legs, they had a lot more to deal with.
Dragstrip and Wildbreak, Slashmark was sure, had it easy by comparison. Not that they didn’t still manage to screw it up.
Even so, if pressed, who was Motormaster likely to pick? Two random combiners he’d picked up or his fellow war veteran and his dumb, but obedient, partner.
Slashmark refused to say it aloud but they needed Motormasters protection. It wasn’t like he and Heatseeker couldn’t go it alone, but the reputation of the stunticons meant a lot of other decepticons weren’t likely to mess with them and risk drawing his ire. Motormaster might’ve been getting on in years, but he still retained a fearsome and violent reputation across the stars. Even a lot of autobots would think twice before tangling with him.
It was worth putting up with his temper and demanding tendencies if it meant they didn’t have to worry about being torn to shreds for parts by other desperate Decepticons out in some dark derelict part of the universe, or getting locked up by some self righteous autobot cadet, or having one of the unaffiliated bounty hunters shoot at them for funzies. Being in a gestalt, even one as dysfunctional as the stunticons, was one of the safest places to be as a former decepticon after the war.
His situation with Heatseeker didn’t make it any easier...
#maccadam#rid15#robots in disguise 2015#stunticons#rid15 stunticons#motormaster#dragstrip#wildbreak#heatseeker#slashmark#rid15 motormaster#rid15 dragstrip#rid15 wildbreak#rid15 slashmark#rid15 heatseeker#tf motormaster#tf dragstrip#tf wildbreak#tf heatseeker#tf slashmark#transformers#reviving a wreck
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i am actually so suspicious of this god damn moth post but i cant find any concrete evidence to prove theres something wrong with it other than my gut feeling and i feel insane
like of course first of all this post is from 2013 and im not really willing to believe any given post from 2013 is true specially when the post is this amazing coincidence of this person coincidentally finding those two coincidentally aesthetically pleasing moths and managing to get them coincidentally snuggling together for a picture. yknow. it does feel too weirdly good to be true
BUT SECONDLY im so weirded out by these two moths specifically.
ok bear with me. the little one is very obviously a rosy maple moth. (which is also coincidentally one of the most famous moths specifically for being pretty)
but im willing to believe any given english speaking tumblrgirl at the time could find one considering they live seemingly accross the united states and canada. fair enough
BUT my problem is the big one. of course everybody even in the notes seems to be classifying it as a luna moth (ALSO a famous moth species for being pretty) you can also feasibly find them in north america, ok.
theres also the point of their lifespans
luna moths as adults live only for about 7-10 days, and i had a harder time finding info for adult rosy maple moths but it seems its about the same
the source of this is an old article from someone actively breeding maple moths x but i believe its the same with moths in general, since they literally dont have mouths and cant eat so they just mate and die.
SO youre gonna have a small time span to find one. both moths are also mainly nocturnal, which makes even weirder that op found both of them during the day.
theres also the point of WHEN are they adults. aka maply moths seem to show from from may through the summer
luna moths though, seem to vary in when they show up depending on place. some do include late may or early june on northern regions, ans a generation in july in central states.
which means you could, feasibly, have a span of about a week or so in may, june or july where both maple moths and luna moths are adults and alive at the same time.
BUT THE POST IN QUESTION IS FROM APRIL 16
thats NOT when adult rosy maple moths show up, much less both of them.
though maybe im just being too pedandic with specific dates and theres margin for variation, but its, again, some real big coincidences
BUT FINALLY theres the fact im suspicious about this luna moth IN THE FIRST PLACE.
i might just be going actually crazy here, but for this we've been assuming the luna moth is the species that exists in north america (otherwise these two wouldnt be in the same place at all)
and like this is what the luna moth looks like
(pictures from wikipedia)
and you see how theyre kinda weird compared to the one in the pic.
the luna moths are mostly green, with much less of this pretty pastel pink of the one on the tumblr post. you could argue they have pink markings but in most pictures i see they seem more like a dark red/brown with a remarkable very thick marking on the wings
you see how the moth in the pic just looks kinda weird. but that can also be from filters or editing to make the photo prettier making the colors different.
(i also think the tail looks weirdly long, but there seems to be variation in the tail length in various luna moth pics ive seen, so i cant speak for sure about that)
(i also cant tell you whether the sizes in comparison to each other are right cause i suck at visualizing size comparisons and its not like theres any other pic on earth of the two together so.)
CONCLUSION: i dont fucking know. i spent an hour looking moths up online and didnt get any reasonable answer to my doubts. i guess in the end THERE is, even if small, a chance of you finding both these boths alive at the same time in the same place so i can fully discredit the op. i give up im going to have breakfast
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yeah not denying that, but one of the basest aspects of being on the aspec spectrum is the lack of attraction not lack of expression
aromantics still get married despite the cultural belief marriage is romantic same applies to many other western culturally believed romantic things because to them they lack romantic attraction aromantic within aspec community means lack of romantic attraction. terf definition is lack of any intimacy its a negative statement meant to push exclus bs
believing someone cant be aspec because they enjoy physical contact is terf rhetoric, its exclusionist rhetoric that 'real' aspecs should be completely cold stone touch averted people which is just a negative stereotype which is mostly spread by terfs it all goes full circle into 'not something i understand thus it cant be real or valid' rather than the fact that people understand and feel stuff differently, terfs say for lesbians to be attracted to transwomen they cant be real lesbians, because they arent, vice versa same is used for aspec people sorry if this isnt articulated correctly its also late where I live
comparing this to terf rhetoric is so absurd to me because terf rhetoric is based on the idea that gender doesn't exist/is intrinsically tied to a person's genitals. no one is saying that romance doesn't exist -- or that aromantic people don't exist. it's a false dichotomy.
a more accurate comparison would be me telling you that your line of logic would dictate that you think that CBT doesn't work, because that's actually what it's sounding like to me. the argument that i keep getting put back on me is that behavior and cognition have absolutely no relationship to one another -- or that a person's environment doesn't influence them.
this is why i said:
i was also speaking in generalities. are there tiny little micro cultures throughout the west where this is a thing? where those expressions of intimacy are completely removed from any romantic intent? sure. but in general, 99 times out of 100, if you find yourself yearning for someone’s physical intimacy, you’re experiencing a romantic longing for them in a western context. this is how you were raised culturally, and it takes A BIG EFFORT over MANY YEARS to unlearn that and decouple those two concepts.
what i'm talking about is how culture influences people's thoughts, desires, and behavior.
what you're talking about is... i don't know, assuming that i think aromanticism is a complete lie 100% of the time all the time. but i say right there in that quote that it is a thing. people have these experiences, and they're real.
however, i acknowledge that i then went on to say:
very often, i see people use “aromantic” as a stand-in for “i don’t want a relationship” – but that’s not what it is. but to experience that longing, to experience that yearning – that is a romantic feeling. even if you don’t want to be committed to that person. even if you have no desire to devote yourself to them at all. it’s still romantic in nature, because culturally, those things are romantic. and i have a really hard time believing that random 20 year olds on the internet have managed to completely decouple themselves from their cultural upbringing and totally decontextualize these actions to such an extent that they exist in their own micro culture. more often than not, these are young people who are intimidated by intimacy and sexuality and don’t really feel comfortable with who they are yet, so they slap the word “aromantic” on themselves because they don’t want to be bothered with romantic pursuits – but that doesn’t mean that they’re wholly disinterested in romance. there’s been a pushback in recent years against anything surrounding the words “romance” and “romantic” and that is really what my initial statement was about. “romance” has become almost a dirty word in some fandom spaces, because of people’s own personal discomfort with vulnerability and flaws in themselves and others. if it’s not romantic, then it’s less vulnerable, and so people strive to be as invulnerable as possible.
so let me explain.
people who are so staunchly against the concept of "romance" in fandom spaces who are very young and likely have a poor self-image and little life experience -- which are the very specific people i'm talking about; i'm not talking about aromantics in general, i'm talking about this very specific subset of people -- need to be careful that they're not co-opting a very real term for a very real thing that exists and using it as a band-aid over their own damage.
that's why i continuously use the words "yearning" and "longing."
and if they do that soulsearching and come to the honest conclusion "no this is really me, i'm really decontextualized from my cultural upbringing" -- then that's great, and i support them. but i'm willing to bet that, for a lot of these younger people, they find themselves yearning for romance while not wanting it to happen to them in a practical sense because some other xyz reason -- and then lashing out against romance in response.
like let me tell you a story. i have been celibate for about 15 years due to a very traumatic experience i had at 18. i could very easily make the argument that i'm aroace based on my lack of desire for sex or a relationship. one of my go-to lines when people ask why i don't have a boyfriend is: "if i wanted to be that responsible for another living creature's emotional state, i'd get a dog." in fact, a coworker of mine was convinced that i was aroace based on what i told her about myself, and she tried to convince me of it. and eventually, i just had to get firm with her and say: "it is just. TRAUMA." and walk away from the conversation.
but how many people -- especially young people -- don't have that insight about themselves -- or don't want to accept that part of themselves? it's easier and more appealing to accept the thought that you could be aroace because, if you are, then there's nothing "wrong" with you. the damage isn't there.
aromanticism is real.
asexuality is real.
these are real things that people experience in life.
but so are trauma and emotional damage and negative self-image. and they're ugly, awful, terrible things that no one wants to be burdened with. some people don't recover from them. and i don't blame a single person for grasping for a perceived "out" that's offered to them. if i was younger, rawer, closer to my own damage -- maybe i would've let my coworker convince me i was aroace, too.
and so i posed the question of where this backlash against romance was coming from, since people in fandom want to see expressions of romance in media so badly (but without the romance part)? because, culturally, in the west, what they're asking for are expressions of romance. and that comes from somewhere.
this is not a black-and-white issue. there's layers to this. it's nuanced. the conversation keeps getting boiled down to "is or isn't" and "inclusion or exclusion" but i feel like that's just not helpful. to blindly accept what people say on its face doesn't help anybody. this is why people are fucking fighting all the goddamn time.
i wanted to know where the backlash against romance was coming from, so i looked at it from a macrocosmic perspective. i took into account culture and psychology and stigma against mental illness, because i don't think it's productive to just broad-brush say "IT'S ALL JUST AROMANTICS!!1"
we need to be able to talk about these things, man. it's important.
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Hi, author! Super excited for the upcoming chapter. I've been re-reading the last chapter and was wondering why Korn didn't take the minor family ring from pete while he was knocked out? I mean it must have pissed him to see a body guard like pete wearing a family ring right?
ooooooh good question!!!! the simplest way i can describe that is that Korn is playing the long game- where he wants to appear like the wise, clever, fair mafia leader.
so snatching the ring off of pete when everyone can very clearly see that it was willingly given to him would have only made him look bad. and it would have been an obvious move against vegas/discrediting his judgement and korn doesnt want it to look like hes trying to deprive vegas of his own power to others.
because then it becomes even more obvious that hes destroying the branch of the minor family and trying to absorb it into something only he has direct control over. so basically it doesnt look good and korn is still pretending that hes concerned about his missing nephews, that he wants to take them under his wing and teach them the ways of their business in the absence of their father until vegas is ready to inherit someday (notice kinn is in the exact same state of limbo and korn still hasnt stepped aside for him- and likely never will unless hes forced to)
so yeah he was definitely pissed to see that ring on pete's finger but knew better than to openly react to it. but i think what hes mostly pissed off about is assuming pete will step in line or wouldnt be a problem for them after he sat him down and they spoke for a while and korn used that time to assess him. he regrets not taking seriously how much influence pete has on vegas and will continue to have on the minor family now that hes quit being a bodyguard.
korn is kicking himself for not properly understanding what kind of threat pete was- and its too late now to extricate him in a way that would keep vegas and macau still under his wing. and without affecting a lot of people's opinions/loyalty towards him. pete isnt like porsche (new and undetermined) he's well known and respected amongst the main family guards and even the minor family guards have perked their ears up and started paying attention to him since hes put vegas in his place. pete is one of them. if korn had him killed now they would all take notice. it would be detrimental to his continuing power.
so korn knows he missed his shot for cleaning the situation up before it got out of hand and now hes got a no name man wearing the minor family's future on his finger and even less options for getting rid of him. he knows he can't put a wedge between pete and vegas' relationship (not when vegas is so openly devoted and they seem to at least be able to keep up the bare minimum of reasonable communication to avoid misunderstandings), he cant turn vegas against pete like he might be able to turn kinn against porsche (using his own jealousy etc) and he doesn't understand pete well enough yet to know how to pit him against vegas.
korn can declare all he likes that porsche is the new head but he understands the importance of symbolism in power and he's very aware that he's at a disadvantage with the ring being with pete still and the rumour mill being as it is. that ring being on pete's finger spread faster than the knowledge that kinn was sleeping with a bodyguard when it first came out. everyone knows that pete has been elevated to an impossible status and korn cant cut him down without openly declaring war against all of the bodyguards, and giving ammunition to the other heads in the business who are waiting for any opportunity now to try and unseat him.
korn may have wanted to snatch the ring off pete's finger but it would have been a damning move for him, a foolish one setting him up as the villain and korn is still doing everything he can to avoid that comparison (even after having murdered his brother lol). so basically he's stuck until he can figure out a way around pete and time will only tell if hes able to succeed! but essentially he has set his sights on pete now that pete has moved against him and openly challenged him- and korn is already realising hes dealing with an entirely new opponent.
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alright wybie here's a free ask to talk my ear off about fitpac GO
this is like a trap isnt it ih gos ok yea
the thing that gets me abt fitpac is that its not that deep. and i dont mean that in an insulting way or that their impacts on one another arent expansive and hugely helpful but i mean it in that like. theres no catch. i love spiderbit for their complexity i love fitpac for their simple, slow, love
that by no means is me insinuating its not got its edges though. theyre just. sweet.
i think both of them have a lot of trauma when it comes to imprisonment and just general fear for their lives and while that could be said for a lot of people on the server i think whats important is that they’ve recognized that in each other? or at least fit has from what ive seen
and pac (and mike tbf) need a constant right now. things are crazy people are disappearinf theres no stability but they can always trust that fit will be there and he will listen and more importantly that he SEES them and will defend them
i think my thoughts abt them boil down to ‘pac needs consistency. a solid rock. he needs a recognizable pattern that doesnt change so he can have a safety net’ and ‘fit spent so long in survival he doesnt know how to just Live and he needs someone to be patient with him’
and its not easy for Either of them especially right fucking now. whats happened is that fit is trying to be the solid foundation for a bunch of people and its wearing him thin. and pac is just speedrunning traumas.
god the babysteps thing will forever be imprinted on the back of my eyes tho. like yeah fit needs to go rly fucking slow. hes a traumatized single father and hes fucking cautious about everything. always has been. letting someone into his life and giving them space in his heart is a big fucking deal. he just cannot afford to make that choice lightly. hell even ramón had to be patient for a bit
whats the fuckin saying like. fell first but he fell harder? wheres the ‘he fell first but didnt wanna think about it until he accepted it at which point he fell so fucking hard it would ruin him to lose it’ thats qfit. he literallt cannot even say the words date or romance or love or wven really Like in a romantic context about pac because shit will get too real and he needs to go slow rven if he has to FORCE HIMSELF to move slowly.
gkd i dont even know where to start with pac. he needs consistency so bad. and mike was that- mike IS that. pac is someone who needs company he needs someone to be near especially lately after his whole kidnapping thing where he was alone in that fuckin room after whatever they did to him—
hes been through so much shit and he just needs someone to stay- someone to turn to and know he’s got slmeone on his side. like pac in his own right is sort of paranoid —not the kind of way he has been recently though.
but like if you had to force tazercraft into designations of head and heart, pac would be the mind and mike would be the heart. pac is thinking ahead, he’s trying to force himself to move on because he knows mike wont, he’s trying to avoid doing things too crazy to keep them off the radar— he’s keeping them out of trouble when he can remember to.
not to say hes not chaotic and passionate in his own right but yknow. comparisons. but hes a thinker yjnow he plans for the future and if he doesnt have someone to be his safety net he fucking panics and doesnt do things he wants to because he’s worried about being caught out alone without any support
all of this to say that he doesnt Really think of romance more then Fun because he needs safety nets first. which is also kind of why the moving slow thing works for him because he’s definitely not going to realize how in deep he is like love wise until its too late. and he probablt cant even fuckin risk it right now considering yhh like Everything going on.
#sorry this ended up more as a character analysis and its so messy#i just have a lot of thoughts about them#long story short; gay men with ptsd love each other through recognition of the other and their flaws#and it makes my heart ache#qsmp liveblogging#asks
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your ‘piece of meat’ johnny fic was sooooo good!! i really enjoyed reading it. its interesting reading about johnny in an established relationship instead of a victim one. i wonder what it would be like if the situation was reversed. johnny obviously gets possessive when he’s jealous but it feel like in this story his s/o is less unsure of herself. he can definitely be charming when he wants to be and can put up a good talk. undoubtedly how he got his s/o now. even if johnny wasn’t cheating, id imagine she’d probably feel more insecure. wondering if her time was finally up and he was about to moved on.
thank you sm <3 i enjoy a johnny/victim dynamic as much as the next guy but think there is an untapped market for more confident/sure readers. around the time i wrote it i think a couple of us were brainstorming ways he would get into a relationship and i always liked the idea of reader living in muerto county/being a neighbour to the family and the relationship being an arranged marriage of sorts (for money). it ties into my hc that everyone in the area has demons and the good either leave or die. i imagine a reader coming from a family with similar morals/ideals as the slaughters. maybe not as extreme but someone who is at least willing to turn a blind eye, after all theyve heard all the screams echo through the texan fields and havent done anything yet. in more extreme cases i think it would be fun to explore a reader who participates in killing alongside johnny and have them actually enjoy it.
i think the sureness comes from the arranged marriage side (and also the crazy) because they know they cant leave eachother but also refuse to accept that theres any genuine connection between them. so its a possessive push and pull game where they try to get the other to snap and admit they need the other. whether its actually love or not is to be determined but at the baseline i think they use eachother because they give eachother something no one else can. johnny is given some semblance of a way out from nancy and for reader is depends on whatever backstory you'd want so something similar to johnny or the opposite where its the only guaranteed protection/attention she has in her life or something as simple as he allows her to indulge in her violent urges in a fun exciting way.
and as for johnny flirting with others, i think she'd be a boiling point of jealousy stemming from insecurity. but unlike johnny, who takes it out on her, she would take it out on others. the first few times she witnesses it she just scoffs and brushes it off (because she doesnt actually think she needs/wants him or whatever) but her eyes dont leave his form the entire night. as it happens more and more her jaw starts to clench and fists ball at the sight. she gets short and snippy with him after, not even allowing him to touch her. its as if the spirit of the other woman is still on him. she would say nothings wrong but he can see right through her and he loves it. a smarmy grin telling her she aint got nothing to worry about. its only when he goes hunting for victims that she starts seeing red. it different when he flirts with intention to kill. its personal. its intimate. his hands inside another woman that he's been buying drinks for. i think it would be enough to make her snap. johnny doesnt even get the kill that night, she beats him to it. he's pissed at her for taking away his rush but theres also an awe to his glare, as if hes finally seen the real her. he tries to keep her at home when hunting from then on but allows her to sit in the cold room as he dismembers the body, degrading the body while simulatenously praising hers by comparison. if she continues with the attitude then im sure he would be happy to put her in her place. sometimes there's a fear that he will kill her like the girls he flirts with but she knows deep down he needs her. she sees the way he rolls his eyes behind nancys back. the constant excuses for a late night drive. even if he doesnt like her, he has to keep her for she's his only chance to escape nancy's grip without leaving nancy completely.
#johnny slaughter#god idek if this is consistent with characterisation honestly#ive not really thought about johnny/reader stuff in a hot minute#also would love to see an argument between a fiery crazy reader and nancy who hates her guts for taking her boy 😭
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There are some cute fluff fanfics where Miguel would call Miles “Nene” which is Spanish for “baby” or something like that. So just imagine Miguel constantly calling miles “nene” along with other cute nicknames!
OH MY GOODDD, YESSS. ALSO PLEASE SEND ME THE LINKS OF THE FANFICS, I CANT FIND ANY WHERE MIGUEL IS A FATHER FIGURE TO MILES :(
He would totally call miles nene or 'baby', I personally headcanon miles as one of the youngest in the spider society, so miguel would be really overprotective. And miguel is 6'9 and miles is 5'8 so miguel jsut sees this tiny red and black spiderman and is like "my kid now." Lemme put a comparison for height difference
As you can tell, miles is quite literally a baby to miguel, miguels in his early 30s to late 30s and miles is jsut a 15 year old boy who's like two feet shorter then him.
Miguels father instincts just go "BRRRRR" every time he sees miles cause its like, that's his kid, yep. Jefferson Davis? Who's that? nope, only miguel here. I like to imagine miguel calling miles adorable Spanish nicknames that he knows miles wont understand cause they're either uncommon or is really quiet about it so miles cant really hear him but knows he said soemthing and miles either just being oblivious or thinking that miguel is cussing him out/insulting him will never not be hilarious to me.
#miles morales & miguel o'hara#random tired rants#random tired answers#hcs#headcanons#headcanon#across the spiderverse#miguel o'hara#miles morales hcs#miles morales headcanons#miles morales#miguel o'hara headcanon#miguel ohara#miguel o'hara headcanons#miguel ohara headcanons#miguel ohara hc#miguel ohara hcs#atsv hcs#atsv headcanons#atsv imagine#atsv imagines#atsv#atsv miguel#atsv miles#random tired writings
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i think what i am getting from most of this discourse about how you a distinguish a couple, or tkk being real, whatever whatever, is about having faith lmaoo.
i fully admit i am a delulu when it comes to tkk, i see their interactions and i can easily tell they're different you just have to know how to spot it. you can tell if you already know. but at the same time, most of my army friends will watch the same interaction and be like "wow they are such good friends!" now idk if they are turning a blind eye to the obviousness or they simply just don't see it and me being a closeted believer would be like "yeahhhh haha"
now i'm thinking maybe it's because i am a believer that i can see them differently than others. it is kinda like believing in a religion, no matter what any other religion/person says you will rarely ever lose your faith. or suppose if you're atheist/agnostic then no one can convince you to have faith
so what i think is that other "shippers" will hold on to their faith and continue to believe that their ship is the truth and in the same way we will continue to believe in ours.
(also whats with ppl wanting to be believers?? trust me once you see it you cant unsee and its not easy being a tkkr don't get into this business its not for everyone, too much hardship 😭)
Hi anon!
Sorry for responding late!
😂 I very often wonder about the amount of hidden Tkkrs amongst fandom. There’s such a stigma on being a Tkkr that I think many just don’t dare to mention it amongst their seemingly neutral army friends. I know I won’t easily talk about it to people I don’t know whether they are Tkkrs or not.
I think there’s a few things important to be able to see. Acceptance and support of queerness, knowledge about the amount of closeting in the music industry, knowledge about SK’s ideas about queerness, an understanding of Sk culture as a whole, an understanding of what adult long term relationships look like, and an understanding of Tae and Jk as persons.
I’m an atheist (one who is not going to get into a theological debate on here 😂) and for me your comparison with religion does not really hold. I think it will be really easy to make people stop believing in Tae and Jk as a couple. Without wanting to insult, for me personally I believe in Tae and Jk because of what I can see and witness myself and I don’t think that’s what religion is based on (again… I’m an atheist 😬).
Yeah I would not advise people to become a Tkkr 😂😂. Personally I do love it here, but it’s also a very wild and emotional ride most of the time.
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Hi yeah its me again, sorry for the spam, not my fault you made cool and inspiring stuff. This time actually, i couldnt help myself and have made a short crackpodfic of an alternative universe which is basically 'AU where Mumbo is frolicking in the wild and Grian doesnt exist cause itd be too sad for him to do so, so hes gone.' Its stupid, ist badly written (literally my first ever creative writing work other than a 300 word school asignment) but like idk. if you dont want to or cant read it (cause its so bad and burns your eyes out) you can just not read it xd idc honestly but decided to maybe give you the choice of reading it or not. Excuse my weird and unusual ways of writing dialougue and monolouges This is part 1 of 3
Jellie meowed cutely, demanding for food most likely just as a familar figure walked into his cabin. —Oh Hello Cub! It's wonderful to see you again! How was the trail, you're earlier than usual, no? — Scar exclaimed happily, looking at the sweaty man now standing before him. The air was hot, the many glass windows of the watchtower could make a great greenhouse. The open windows allowed for a warm flow of the early summer's air to pass by and refresh the mostly closed space. —Hey hey. Yeah the traffic was better than usual, but there was more sand in on the trail today. I think it could be the Sahara desert dust that was supposed to get carried in with the wind. — Cub said, taking his backpack off and pulling out a rag to wipe his head off. No matter how many times he hikes through this trail it never gets much easier. — Oh, Cub. The Sahara desert was blowing on Europe! And also it's the 80s and this specific situation you're referencing is gonna happen in late March of the year 2024! That's at least 35 years into the future! —Oh yup I forgot. Sorki bout that —Cub, you silly silly man! — Scar said in a singsong tone. Both of them started laughing and looked straight into the readers eyes, smiling. Hi reader they both thought and went back to laughing looking at each other. — Actually, Scar, while hiking I heard some tourists talking about some newfound cryptid roaming these parts, what's up with that? – Eh nothing special, some bikers saw a 'humanoid lanky bugman' or something. — The man said — I've seen it all over, people come, they see a black bear or a deer in the shadow and think it's a newfound species. But honestly! I gotta give credit to the bikers relating said encounter cause the guys were better than most at storytelling! The missing food cans, rustling in the bushes all around them, the feeling of being watched.. Truly creepy stuff! And then — Scar took in a breath, talking so much in one long exhale left him almost dizzy —the moment when they saw it fully...They described it as 'particularly lanky with black fur' and something about purple-pinkish fingertips as well as residue on its paleish naked face with a weirdly shaped snout. 'Like a Walrus' they said! A crazy comparison for a bear, but you know, human mind can do wonders! — Scar clapped at the last statement and closed his eyes smiling charmingly at his companion who was now drinking the rest of his water.. After a while, comfortable silence filled the watchtower as both of the men enjoyed eachothers company. Jellie was now purring against scars leg and promptly jumped on his lap demanding more pets as Cub had finally spoken up — Any new paintings done in the meantime? I don't recognise these two, are they new or recycled? — He asked, curiosity clear in his voice, lookin at the, indeed, two new paintings decorating the cabin. One of them depicting a landscape with a sunset. From where Cub was sitting, he could watch the same, now hidden under an overcast, mountains and trees. The other painting was of a group of three tufted titmice sitting on a branch. Cub took out his American bird field guy and read a couple of paragraphs to scar on what kind of bird has he drawn exactly. It's weird that he saw these birds cause apparently they don't live in that part of the US! Crazy.
HELPPPPP this is completely insane the best way, thank you. Love that Grian doesn't exist here because it'd be too sad for him. Love the fever-dream quality to the writing. In all the best ways you're taking me back to the crack fics I'd read on ff.net in 2013, it's great. Love the breaking the fourth wall abou the Sahara dust and the (assuming) European birds. You've got a certain hint of Douglas Adams flavoring happening with the switching to an "above" perspective for a moment to give a wry little fourth-wall comment.
Mumbo Jumbo, new forest cryptid. I can see it. If Hermitcraft!Mumbo eats redstone, do you think forest cryptid!Mumbo would eat like...rocks??? dlfjskfljslkfs
#i was ignoring this on purpose i promise i just wanted to sit down to read + respond#this was very funny thank you#hc_firewatch_au#quara asks#ngl your writing here reminds me a bit of my first chapter draft of my hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy au#wherein (former) ceo mumbo of boatem says something about 'work from home being the future'#before essentially remembering none of them work from home because. well. it's boatem.
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I HAVE COMPLETED ALL OF THE STARTING CLASS QUESTLINES IN FFXIV, SO HERES AN OFF THE CUFF COMPARISON OF THE STARTING CLASSES
this will all be subject to opinion of course, but idk i wanna do it.
starting with, how do each of the starting classes play before you upgrade to the proper jobs?
not well on the whole if im being honest. i dont think any one of the classes stand out in the below 30 range, a consequence of being the basic building blocks of the game but still. from best to worst
1 pugilist: its fast, it hits hard, its gimmick is easy to grasp, and it gives you a good collection of tools to easily slip in to how people generally play this insane game. the only bit i have a problem with would be steel peak and the chakra gauge, as steel peak feels pretty useless at the pugilist level [it hits slightly harder then a normal hit, but your basic combo is just better in every way then the set up it needs].
2 lancer: rather plain missionary as far as a dps class goes, though i feel thats to its benefit in many ways as its real simple to figure out and use. plus javelins are a nice poking tool as everyone charges recklessly ahead. what brings the class down somewhat is that it has no aoe before dragoon and that it feels sluggish compared to something like pugilist. hit sound effect is deliciously cronchy though.
3 archer: pretty much everything you'd realistically want from the class honestly, it feels a bit sluggish at the start but when ya unlock the aoe shooting the class quickly becomes one of the best for handling large groups of enemies. its solid all around if somewhat unexciting at times sitting in the back shooting arrows.
4 marauder/gladiator: putting them together because they play exactly the bloody same below 30. thankfully despite the worry i had going into a tanking class, i found myself rather enjoying the kit. the most difference between the two i'll note is that marauder is more aggressive well gladiator is more reactive as far as tanking goes. but again, at the below 30 level they play exactly the bloody same.
5 rogue: id like this class more if its kit was a bit bigger. like lancer its lacking aoe before upgrade but unlike lancer its kit is way too small to offer much variety in how you approach situations. plus the hide and backstab stuff is only really useful, so far anyways, in story moments or open world cheese. regardless, the class is fast and hits well so its feels exhilarating to use.
6 arcanist: its kinda intimidating when ya first get hold of it, but i find once ya get a grasp on the class its actually one of the more fun ones to play at low level. i feel it hits harder and faster then other magic classes, you can do a lot with it, and getting the rhythm for its use feels real satisfying.
7 conjurer: being a low level healer feels agonizing, your squishy, you cant hit too hard or fast, and the micromanaging feels daunting especially when your first getting used to the class. and when ya get the hang of it, it doesn't feel quite as rewarding as other classes as your generally stuck to the tanks ass, and if your arent stuck to the tanks ass then shits gone horribly wrong. atleast people seem to appreciate you more.
8 thaumaturge: unlike conjurer which was cursed by design as a basic bitch healer, thaumaturge feels awful to play on the whole in my experience. ironically you dont feel like your hitting as hard as the arcanist, your slower, the switching gauge gets annoying, and ya cant really do anything exciting with the class. i dont hate it, but i do think if a new player is starting with it, they'd get a pretty aggravating impression of the game.
and now, onto the stories of the class questlines themselves! again from best to worst
1 rogue: massively benefits from being the late comer. its more extensive, more cinematic, the character writing well not anything extraordinary is still solid overall, and well the quests can be a bit lengthy they do offer interesting things to do.
2 lancer: gets to rest at the top of the pile less because of anything specific it does and more so because of how it stands out. the only class quest line that functions as an honest to god tragedy/parable/whatever ya wanna call it which elevates it otherwise smaller nature compared to other class quests. i dont feel foulques is actually all that interesting of a character, and if another starting class questline took a similar approach as the lancer quests then i feel he'd be far less memorable [as hes just kinda a self important ass at the end of the day, despite his tragic backstory]. Still, in the lancer quests case, simplicity is elegance in that the quests are straightforward and the story direct in its impact. inelegant definitely. unique, definitely.
3 conjurer: its okay. doesn't trip over itself, says what it wants to say, and has you doing things that arent too much of a hassle. i really like its ending scene too where... conjurer girl finally properly connects with the nature magic vibes for the first time, and remarks on how much more alive everything now feels. its euphoric in a way, and makes the process of getting to the end refreshing.
4 pugilist: dumb but in a fun way, the quest stories for pugilist dont take themselves too seriously and just have fun with what they're doing and in that sense it makes the pugilist quests a lot more fun then i think they would be otherwise. its not a gutbuster, but its intentional comedy that lands which is to its favour. some of the quests themselves can be kinda annoying to do though.
5 archer: kinda bland and it trips over itself getting to the end. i like what its trying to do, taking two characters who follow diametric beliefs about archery and who get at each others throats, only to come together in the end to emphasize the benefits of cooperation, cultural exchanges and crosses, and to tie to archeries literal history within gridanias context. elezen dudes a bit too prickly though without getting enough redressing on the matter, miqo'te girl is underwritten which makes her struggles not land with as much weight as they should, and i feel the plot takes such a sharp turn into the poacher bandit thing that the ending lands with more of a whimper then a bang. plus the quests themselves can be rather annoying. still, it was trying to do something interesting and didn't completely fail in that regard.
6 gladiator: i like some of the character dynamics at play and the quests dont suck. the story is too ambitious for its actual runtime though, so everything feels rushed and underwritten, and theres nothing really at play here that connects too deeply to what it means to be a ffxiv gladiator either in terms of themes, setting or even just on a functional gameplay level like all of the above classes. those characters are the only thing holdin it at 6 really.
7 arcanist: im not a big fan on glasses characters so a story heavily featuring them and generic genius academic type characters who prattle on about statistics and probability or what not... well that wasn't gonna be a slam dunk for me. the plot for these ones also just feels meandering, and like the archer plot it takes a hard swerve into the new thing it introduces at the tail end to its own detriment, only even more so. at the end of the day im just not sure what they were trying to do here overall. plus some of the quests are kinda a pain to complete.
8 marauder: boooooooooring. not only is the story a drag, but its characters are not interesting in the slightest save for like... one joke about marauders not being good at subtly. plus its difficult to have a story where your antagonistic force is a monsterous animal that doesnt speak human, unless you really well characterize the monster or have good characters on the side. and the marauder quests dont do either of these. finally what doesn't help is that the quests themselves are kinda boring to play.
9 thaumaturge: this one legit pisses me off, and it has everything to do with the story and nothing to do with the characters. im not a big fan of the characters mind, but they're fine. whats happening though in terms of character actions and plot movement is just stupid though, especially that damn jar with the devil in it. and to top it off, the ending feels anti climatic as fuck! the one brother well possessed goes around killing at least a dozen people, yet theres no remark on the matter after the possession and the intended theme to be take away from all this is "believe in yourself :)". fuck this questline.
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Im years late to this sorry i namesearch signora and found ur post but youre so soso right. Literally people only hate signora bc she kicked venti in the gut that one time, its that one tweet about "people cant even handle a female character who was mean to one of their boyfaves once" . most of thm also like dottore on the same breath too (I like him, but he basically scarred scara and collei for life so whats w the double standards?)
No yeah literally. Like. Ok in general i like all of the harbingers we've seen a lot because i think they're all interesting so far but when people single out signora specifically as if she's soooo much more evil than any other character i wanna beat them over the head with a rock. Like as you said it's clearly misogyny when you compare it to how they treat dottore or scaramouche, but people legitimately even hate her more than like. Ei (for transparency I don't even hate ei either i just think her whole deal was handled really lamely compared to what else they could have done for her arc because they had to wifeyfy her to sell her banner better or whatever, i'm bringing her up for this comparison because she's the other genshin woman who went kinda crazy out of grief like signora) and ei notoriously gave mega depression to hundreds of people across her nation by taking their visions or whatever the fuck whereas signora's biggest crime that we've currently seen on screen was kicking some twink, and yet that's being treated like something sooo heinous like 🙄 people talk a lot about loving mean and evil female characters but the one time there's a woman who's actually a bit mean and kind of a cunt on screen people start getting so so scared. I literally like venti too but i sincerely hope they bring signora back and she kicks him again
#like I'm not even arguing that Signora hasn't probably done a lot of fucked up stuff off screen too#but so has literally every other harbinger and likely several of the older archons too#so singling her out specifically as if she's done god knows what is insane because i KNOW none of these people are being like#ough i HATE her for her hypothetical offscreen crimes like no bitch we know you hate her cause she kicked your stupid green twink#anyway.#asks#anonymous
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ROUND 2, MATCH 24
Propaganda under the cut!
Dys
Propaganda
great character shitty boyfriend theres two paths to get a happy couple ending with him peace ending (with prolific parent career ending or dys dating both solanaceae (player character) and sym with sol being the unfavored in the polycule) or becoming a gardener (mass interconnected ai that both is n takes care of the planet the game's set on. he wants to become a sentient tree basically) with him (assisting in helping him bomb the colony or helping him become a gardener after he bombed the colony) all the other endings where he and solanaceae are dating Arent Great with peace ending (without prolific parent or polycule) in particular standing out to me especially in comparison with his friendship peace ending in that solanaceae is implied to be his sole source of emotional support (even if you get him and tangent to reconcile during the game) as in his platonic peace ending hes noted to have made other lifelong friends and has become a part of the community which is absent in his romantic ending and instead replaced with solanaceae stating that dys' love feels draining n dys' self destructive habits are a frequent topic in the couple's conversation but its just kind of brushed aside cause solanaceae's like "well theres parts of myself (referring to the timeloop) that other people wouldnt be able to deal with so its fine" n then also ur not really allowed to get mad at him for bombing the colony (resulting in an unspecified amount of injuries and deaths) and if you choose to say "because you cant!" as a response to finding out he set off the bomb to become a gardener (btw dys' only leaves a goodbye note if ur dating but never makes any attempts to prevent solanaceae from potentially also being killed by the bomb like you cant die during the game but he still doesnt show any level of concern that the four people he likes in the colony couldve been killed even if hes dating solanaceae) dys' response is something along the lines of "who cares what you think cause you'll be dead in 60 years" which (once again) doesnt change even if youre dating him n like the bomb thing and him always eventually leaving to become a gardener are like nonfactors in this aside from when they align with his shitty boyfriend moments such as his seeming disregard for his romantic partner's life if they dont like what hes doing i literally went into the game's files to read all of the storylines n events to see if i was missing something but no man's just a shitty boyfriend
Peter King
Propaganda
Oh I could go ON AND ON but here’s a list: He’s a stalker, he showed up late to a date HE REQUESTED, he killed either your landlord, roommate, or coworker (depending on route) and stuck them in a freezer, lied to the police about it, followed by a car ride either consisting of traumadumping about his family (valid tbh) or him talking about how much he wants to fuck your brains out, then you finding a bloody knife in his glove compartment, asking about it, and him smashing your head into the window to shut you up while he takes you to his house. He is The Worse Datable, as well as The Only Datable because well…he killed the others…and kidnapped you….
FUCK THIS DUDE!!! Country Human looking-ass bitch, I want him dead and obliterated
Many violence, Yandere behavior, cut your leg off in a semi-canon series of illustrations, smashed your head into the passenger side window of his creepy van, chloroformed you in your own house, brought you flowers that were probably tainted with his own blood, given context from another route. Generally a terrible person. Also just very strange to look at :/
He knows what he did….😒
He broke into Y/N’s house and chloroformed them. Generally a really creepy and perverted guy. TK is better :/
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Weirdness around Oct. 24th, 2021
this was a message i made to someone, a friend in this belief, on this day, around the afternoon after 4 pm. click on the read more link because it's long. This was my half of a conversation with someone so only focus on that, okay? okay.
::::: i have always felt it strongly, espeially more since that point and its flaring up really bad right now like intense. im trying to calm my breathing but i have to tell you. i am freaked out O_o
first off, my senses: my hearing is so freakily good - like based on whatever sound , even if it's talking, regardless of volume but especially if its to the point of under someones breath or whispering, i can hear it perfectly as if they are right next to me. thats the hearing . its always been like that
the sight: its like i almost dont even need my glasses anymore because given a 10 rating, my sight is more than that or exactly that and my glasses help better but its like i could be without them now and i can see everything with freakishly good clarity
the touch: i mean, plain and simple, down to perfection, thats an obvious
taste: same thing
feeling: thats the same as touch and taste but its like similarily , it feels more intense for me, everything/ living like you feel it normally as a human but its like idk, i dont know how to explain. it scared tf out of me
i was looking through one of the "Doctor Who' books i have, and i cant begin to express how much i felt a homesickness, sense of loss and pain and feeling of deja vu at the pictures it showed of Gallifrey, other places, the Tardis, other alien species and felt like i was home, like i had been there, like i had been among these species of aliens
im always watching and looking for anything strange, especially with close perimeter of where i live and im almost waiting for that door thing to happen again bc i still hear things outside and the strange lights in the sky, one in particular that feels like it could not be a star among any of them. the weird lights that are definitely not stars and the way theyd act, the movement, hearing things and the wierd lights on ground level like something among the trees, the animals sensing and even the baby sensing things in and outside the home that no one, even me, can see
references to Gallifrey, timelords and ladies, time and space, traveling, the Doctor, the Master, popping out everywhere, the name Clara too, same thing with 'ravens', the silent calls too have been constant lately. lets not even get started on my dreams and the meanings they seem to be sending
and from the begininning to now still: the sense of its like there is a home here, but i dont know how else other to describe it in a sense that like an object, youre here among it all so in a snese you are home but your NOT home because this isnt your home, this isnt your origin. I feel so disconnected / disassociated, like I'm here but I'm not really here. A sense of loss and feeling like there is something huge missing, because if this was truly a home HOME then i wouldn't feel like what really is, isn't here. Im trying to explain it a best version possible
countless of times, i look at this human family of mine and i think : yes that's my mom or my sister or my nephew or my brothers but its like thinking from their perspective and how they'd see me in comparison from me to them, there is a sense of difference that comes with that if only they knew, or that disconnection
the sense of what life might really be and the answers known and unknown , how it will affect my future and what they would find out and have to accept and deal with? that alone is just -
the reptitive numbers have been constant with 222, 111 or 11:11, or 1:11, 333, 444, 555, 777, 12:12, 10:10, etc. and that whole thing where my chest seems sensitive and more weird, i felt my chest, and i could have sworn by everything in me, that i felt a second heart. i know the placement of where the human heart is in the body and so based on where the second heart could be put, i felt the beats of it
and seemingly all around, i COULD be human but to experience everything i have and do, points to that i may be right now or , am put into a state where it will seem like that but im not and that i cant eveen begin to explain as to how that would make sense to another person's brain
and of course, i am never going to claim that i know every single little thing of information in the known and unknown parts of the entire universe but i feel like human or not, my knowledge over a lot is getting better and many a times, people have come to me to learn and know things and get advice and i have been seeing the shadows again and mention of the Darkness.
hearing of weird and strange things/inhuman things through music with other normal things that don't make sense to be added together because they don't relate. among the various incarnations that the Doctor and Master, and other timelords/ladies have - i seem lately to have gotten specific incarnations of them popping out to me
i feel like i know who i am, who i could be, what its seeming to be like i could be or definitely am, but at the same time, i am feeling such a loss of identity yet because of the definite and possibilities and the possibilities that seem more likely than the rest, i feel like i know more than i ever did because you know more as time passes obviously
but i want to get this out so i can finally tell you and you can read it all and respond to each accordingly. i hope so badly im not alone in this. there is more to tell but i am so freaked out at how strong and intense of a flaring feeling i am getting of it
like i am literally in transit, in a half way point phase where i am neither here or there. Like a waiting period at the point of change but that thing to fully ram into it and have it skyball has just not ha[need yet
like im home here on Earth but i am not really HOME
I also have heard weird noises and seen split second weird flashes in the sky as well as the sound of aircraft but when i look in the sky, even among the clouds or lack therof any , I see nothing so maybe there is the ability aboard the c raft or whatever causing those noises to be able to hide themselves so no one can see them
people, even strangers staring at me in ways like there is something off or something drawing them to me and they are waiting for something
there are times, which isnt a new feeling but seems to have increased lately as well, is how when i speak, its not of someone my age for the most part and i will speak as if i am not from here like I'm waiting for something, or on the move , or wanting to go home. I even have said to my family that my home is among the stars but they brush it off as silly or me being a weirdo dork.
dont even get me started on how strong the feeling is , is that whenever i see my gallifreyan fob watch necklace and knowing its a fake, my mind goes to the real one which gives me the feeling of not wanting the fake and feeling a want, need and urgency to find the real one
my sister had even asked me , if i was happy here: i said yes because i am but in this weird, strange, unexplainable / ufo/aliens / paranormal, etc. life, i feel a happiness and a sense of peace and home i don't elsewhere. You can have a home like feeling for more than one place obviously
its not like i dont love, care for and appreciate everything in this normal life as well as strange life because i do equally, I'm just acknowledging what i think, know and feel about this life too
and im never going to lie about what i feel because the truth cant be shied away from no matter how hard one tries; trying to make sense of who or what i am makes sense as to why i and even you can answer some questions but not all bc we might have what could be any memories back but if any of those are even memories then we obviously don't have all back
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Make of this what you will.
#old experiences#weird things#the truth is out there#doctor who is real#the doctor is real#i believe in the doctor#searching for the doctor#project hello sweetie#the darkness#the master#clara oswald#clara the impossible girl#gallifrey
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